


A Season of Companionship

by silasfinch



Series: Seasons [4]
Category: Portrait de la jeune fille en feu | Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:46:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25161091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silasfinch/pseuds/silasfinch
Summary: Marianne settles into her new lifeMoments of Companionship and Connection with the woman she loves
Relationships: Héloïse & Marianne (Portrait of a Lady on Fire), Marianne & Sophie (Portrait of a Lady on Fire)
Series: Seasons [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727440
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	A Season of Companionship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [poco_piano](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poco_piano/gifts), [silver_greystorms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_greystorms/gifts), [AnnNette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnNette/gifts).



_When we fully understand the brevity of life, its fleeting joys and unavoidable pains; when we accept the facts that all men and women are approaching an inevitable doom: the consciousness of it should make us more kindly and considerate of each other. This feeling should make men and women use their best efforts to help their fellow travelers on the road, to make the path brighter and easier as we journey on. It should bring a closer kinship, a better understanding, and a deeper sympathy for the wayfarers who must live a common life and die a common death.”_

Clarence Darrow 

There is speculation about their relationship and Marianne’s standing. 

Maro has done his best to pave the way for a seamless move into Milanese society. He includes her board in household accounts and consults them both on matters of hosting and the social season. The staff are known for their discretion, and loyalty for Maro and his family are generous employers and do not discard people without cause. Marianne is an easy guest in the house without exotic taste or erratic demands. If things need fixing in the servant quarters, the woman from Brittany spares a few coins to have it tended. Living so openly is something of a risk, but decades of secrecy gives both Marianne and Héloïse skills to divert attention. 

“Why does your mother refuse to entertain the idea of another husband, after nursing your father so faithfully? Many widows would make an ideal match..especially on the back of the last few winters.”

The query from his paternal aunt has no malicious intent. His father’s youngest sister is one one of the few family members with a sincere affection for Héloïse. She admires her loyalty to Stefano, even when there was no possibility of more children. Claudia genuinely worries that her sister in law lacks for connection without French relatives to rely on, less as the years slide into decades. Maro dreads these casual conversations as much as any outright attacks. At least with insults, he would have sufficient grounds to defend the family honour. He concedes to letting Marriane stay to please his Maman in her final years, but he does not wish to face true fractures in the family. 

“A second marriage is not something that she seeks. Her marriage to father provided everything she and grandmother saught in a match. The move was hard on her, and there is no need to repeat the ordeal.” Marco reveals for more than he would a casual acquittance. 

“Stefano gave everything most respects, but not all I suspect. My brother was many things, but he wasn’t suited for a young French wife, long before the convalescence. He was a good man and honourable in business, but there were reasons he set his sights on the furthermost reaches of France and not our intimate circles.” 

Marco feels his posture straighten at the insinuation. After many years of hiding his true feelings during negotiations work to his advantage. Aunt Claudia has a genuine love for her bother; he trusts that the words aren’t meant as an insult. There is no need to add to speculation by challenging the integrity of the terms or the state of his parents marriage. Part of Marco will always be that ten-year-old boy defending his father against the tormentors after church or in the local streets. 

“Marriage and companionship can take many forms, Aunt. Father was wise to seek somebody so far afield, undaunted by the potential problems. Mother didn’t lack for anything then or now. Please do not concern yourself with her happiness. You have yet to tell me about Lucas, will he marry this summer?” 

“You have your mother’s French soul for poetry and language. However, I will concede the point. There will be another wedding in the family soon, and his bride will make a tolerable daughter in law. Her talents for conversation have limits beyond fashion. But my son seems happy enough with either her or the dowery her father provides. 

“It possible to have both forms of happiness, Aunt, to esteem both your wife and the assets the union provides. My marriage with Lucina is an example of such things.” Marco argues, good-naturedly 

“Your relationship sets a high and unusual standard, that gives the daughters each season unrealistic expectations of what they can find in the world of marriageable men. Not everyone is fortunate enough to save them from certain scandal and ruin, Nephew. Do not go influencing your cousin’s with such prospects.” his aunt warms sagely. 

“Unconventional decisions and belief systems do tend to run in the family but fear not the marital prospects of my childhood companions are not chief amongst my daily concerns. It is a daunting enough prospect being the father of daughters who will face such things in the decades to come. I will leave such things to you and my mother. 

**Mornings: Awake With The Doves**

Mariane both longs for and dreads the morning. 

In the months since she moves permanently to Milan, the days merge into a comfortable but cautious. She is acutely aware of the concessions that Maro is making for his beloved mother, but this grace has strict limits. The exact nature of her relationship with Heloise is not a public spectacle. There were certain (limited) freedoms back home amongst the artist set if she wants to spend her twilight years with her great love than she needs to change her presentation. 

Marco and his family do not question her presence, but there is no doubting their desires to keep up appearances. Their rooms are next to each other with connecting doors for a reason. Marianne will not be caught by any of the new servants or maids in Héloïse’s chambers at an inopportune time. Ther time together during the day in largely without disruption but the early mornings and evenings are subject to certain proprietary measures and observations. Marianne wakes every morning and slips from her lover’s embrace and into the chamber she rarely uses unless a particularly large or curious party comes to stay. 

“I need to leave now, my Darling. For that I need full possession of all my limbs and facilities, as delightful as this current position is, we need to move.” Marianne feels like she repeats this refrain every night. 

In the months that she made the decision and commitment to return to Milan permanently, Héloïse likes to claim her even in the act of sleep. Whatever the starting point, they will usually end up a tangle of limbs by the end, even if there wasn’t the time or inclination for more intimate activities. Their quarters may have the best light, but it is the older section with a draft and need more candles. It is nothing like the high ceilings and salt breeze of Britany but the cold is still bitter at times. 

“I don’t want you to leave me, stay for a while.” Héloïse pleads in a sleepy voice from somewhere beneath the blankets. 

“We know the rules, Darling. There isn’t a reasonable explanation for being here and this time of the morning. We will see each other in less than an hour for breakfast. You won’t have time to miss my presence. 

“I always miss you.” 

Marianne can understand what she means as she silently navigates the familiar pathway towards the door. The route becomes familiar, after months of navigation. There are floorboards to avoid and stubbornly creeky doors to ease open gently. She even perfects the art of looking half asleep when the maids enter to air out the room and summon her breakfast. Marianne can understand that Héloïse is greedy for touch and time when they were separate for so long and made so many sacrifices to stay safe in the shadows of society. 

“Just think of all the memories we can make together in the daylight hours, and we don’t need to ration them to sustain us through the winter seasons. Neither Hades nor Orpheus was fortunate enough to receive such a second chance, Darling.” Marianne offers before slipping the door open. 

“Save the philosophising for a time when the birds aren’t preparing to sing. Losing you every morning for even a few hours is hard enough without the metaphors. The doves can listen to you chatter if you wish.” Héloïse complains lacing the words with more affection than true discontent. 

The light is too weak for Marianne to be certain, but she can feel more than seeing a smile on taller woman’s face. 

**Daylight: Charm and Circumspection.**

“Will you accompany me to the chamber rehearsals, the violin soloist is divinely inspired,” Héloïse asks with a trace of nervousness in her voice. 

“You forget, Darling, that my days are no longer at the whim of wealthy matrons with ambitious daughters or widows with second or third sons. We can go anywhere you wish, music sounds wonderful.” Marianne replies teasingly. 

“Well, I hope you are at the whims of one widow, in particular, Miss Marianne. The rumours of my benevolence and generosity of spirit have its limits.” Héloïse says more in jest than a serious observation. 

“Always.”

There is so much more than Marianne wishes to say. However, they are still learning the language of each other again, because they are alone, and will not face an interruption for a few hours yet, Marianne kisses her lover passionately. In truth, it is only in the last few years of season visits that intimacy truly grows between them when Héloïse was no longer responsibly for running the house. Physical intimacy, in contrast, came easily ever since that first uncertain kiss on the beach. It was far easier to express feelings with touch when the world didn’t have language for your experiences. 

“In the many years without you, music was my solace and connection to the time we shared. I could map feelings for you onto the different notes and dramatic overtures.” Héloïse confesses in a whisper. 

“Marco tells me you have quite the ear for Vivaldi, and you were his primary teacher in this regard. When we take our seats in the hall, it is you who will be instructing me in the finer points of the movements.” Marianne replies softly against her ear. 

“Instructing you in public would prove a far too greater distraction.”

"We still have at least 30 minutes before our absence from the first bell would be cause for comment."

"Well, let us make use of them."

They fall together easily and each kiss and whispers with equal tenderness. Marianne is careful not to untangle the careful hairstyle and earrings. She makes that mistake before that requires quick reapplication when Marco asks for his mother unexpectedly. There is familiar comfort in moving so close and filling up the senses with each other. Desire burns like a slow ember in the fire, waiting for the opportunity to ignite. Even after many months of this new arrangement, the joy does not leave them. 

***

**Afternoon: Roles and Reputation**

“Surely you can instruct us all in the mystery that is our dear Héloïse, being her dearest and oldest friend?”

Marianne can accept that her presence in the household is a matter of some speculation and curiosity. Afterall Marco and Lucina are hardly hiding her in the backrooms like a ghostly figure. She has a place at the table every night, including when the company arrives for a late lunch. Thankfully Héloïse and the Countess are true to their word, and many of the family circle know Marianne either by sight or reputation. Her Italian is virtually fluent now with the occasional lapses in phrase or form that most people forgive if not forget. The carefully worded introductions that Marco and Lucina agonised over is useless in the end because of most people great the new arrival with warm detachment. The most common response is reflected in that of Lucina’s aunt. 

_“Miss Marianne, you should have made the move years ago, long before your bones started giving out. The warming sun of Milan can do you little good now.”_

There are regular lunches like this one that tests her resolve and commitment. The wife and daughters of Marco’s business partner are frequent guests. There is hope for a marriage arrangement between the youngest children, but there are a few years as playmates yet. Currently, there is is a narrow range of socially acceptable topics, and similar restrictions exist for the literature read for public consumption. A woman newly retired from a ‘profession’ complete with scars and blemishes will never truly find acceptance here, not with such a lack of status. However, she can find tolerance and skills not to disappoint or disgrace Héloïse. Her love may no longer care about social conventions or requirements, but these connections are still important to maintain for both Marco’s business dealings and family peace. 

“Héloïse is a true lady of Milan now and has been for well over half her life, any instruction I could give would be woefully out of date, I fear. We were friends in our impressionable youth. Perhaps it is you that could educate _me_ in the metamorphosis of the great Countess.” Marianne teases in an easy and calm voice. 

The words have desired effect and the visitor and her adult laugh and mummer dutifully. Héloïse blushes demurely from behind her teacup before moving into a story about her first days in the city. The challenges in learning the customs, a socially acceptable tale or two about perfume and ordering poultry. Marianne knows that the gaiety is a lie, and during the first few Stefano was ruing his decision and the Countess fought tooth and nail to keep the marriage contract. However, the deception is artful in the telling and serves its purpose in distracting. Marianne can see the tension slowly draining out of Lucina as she watches the social interaction that she is orchestrating. The relationship between Marianne and Héloïse is not the only secret this house keeps. 

***

**Twilight: The Day Remaining**

Marianne always views the coming of twilight with a mixture of awe and apprehension. 

As an artist, she was always at the whim of the sun’s movements. Her students learn fast that a wasted hour can mean the difference between a successful commission and a lean winter season. Painting her love in secret so many years ago by candlelight gave Mariane a whole new appreciation for using the daylight in all its natural forms. Even though producing canvases is no longer her chief concern, old habits are hard to break. 

“Will you join Lousia and me in the garden for a stroll?” 

Marianne smiles at the sight of Héloïse holding her newest granddaughter with expert confidence and security. Marianne has vague memories of her mother doing such things with her youngest brothers, both long dead. It is uncommon (downright strange) for people of Héloïse’s station in life to take such an interest in their offspring or subsequent generations. However, familial affection isn’t an entire novel concept, and both Marco and his children benefit from such attention. The Prince Concert in England has a reputation for hands-on parenting, and his brood comes to no harm. Besides connecting to the family life that was not her choice so many years ago, in the end, provides her Héloïse with great comfort. The times are far from perfect, especially in the early days, but the connection is stronger for the challenges. 

"Of course, what French story are we recounting today or will you be singing us before to sleep again?" Marianne asks teasingly putting a mark in her novel. 

"Lousia is too young to form any firm opinions on the matter, and you are too gallant to offer a contradictory view even though I have little to no true talent for signing. Those years of flattering and cajoling ladies of high society to pose for you serves you well in many requires." Héloïse replies archly. 

"I don't think I can ever face the accusation of flattering you overmuch, even in the earliest days of acquittance. You are far too astute for such empty words and gestures. Singing is a talent that hundreds of girls and woman posses, your talents are far rarer and therefore more valuable." 

"Now that is a clear line, you should write it down and give it to Luca in his pursuit of the young later from Rome, maybe it will assist him when little else has thus far." 

In the end, the discussion is mote. Lousia is unlike her siblings in that she sleeps well for any adult that is willing to walk with her. She does not appear to favour one figure over another beyond seeing the nanny in the morning hours. Marianne and Héloïse have the walk to themselves, but neither of them feels the urge to fill the silence with chatter or declaration. There isn't a fixed number of afternoons that are counting down with every moment. 

"

**Evening: Companions and Consideration**

“You need to be more careful with the company; not everyone will view such happiness and contentment with benevolent eyes.” 

It is not customary for ladies of the house to retain connections with their staff when their maids marry; serving is typically the domain of young, unattached ladies. However, Sophie is an exception to the rule. From the earliest days in Britany, she needed protection from the scandal of her almost engagement. Furthermore, her husband was slow in expanding his trade enough to support a family. It is not uncommon for foreign brides to bring their servants who speak the same language and customs. France and Milian are not far apart geographically, but plenty divides them. The three women form a firm connection over the years, enough that the former servant feels comfortable in making such an assertion.

“We are discreet in all our interactions insight of the public, Sophie. Marianne has a good reputation on her merits as a portraitist. She moves freely amongst my peers and social events and can hold court with many former patrons. I am the widow of the house, my role, and thus speculation about my affairs is greatly reduced.” Héloïse disagrees 

“Reduced is not the same as completely absent. There are still those with more than idle curiosity about the Countess’s strange daughter who refuses advantageous second marriage proposal. Our eldest serves in the Ricci house and hears much of the whispers.” Sophie warns her voice low and soft. 

It is easy to forget that it was Sophie who stayed with the Countess during the darkest days after her eldest daughter’s death. She understood the worst of the scandal and speculation that haunted the family. Héloïse and her mother were too blind with grief to notice much beyond pain and regret. Sophie did well to secure a position with the Countess and the privilege to relocate with the family to Milan and escape her post and shame. If any idle curiosity was to awake from that time the now respectable baker's wife and mother have plenty to lose in the ashes. Happiness and love is no excuse for complacency with other people's lives. 

"We will not violate the trust you placed in us so many years ago, Sophie. Your secrets and life here are safe." Marianne insists reaching out a hand to reassure her friend. 

"Do not make promises that are not yours to keep. Gossips have long memories for details such as these. Births, Deaths, Marriages and violations of God's laws are the lifeblood for their conversations and parlour games. All I ask is that you be careful" Sophie argues, keeping her voice calm, but her movements are tense. 

Nobody needs to say that the woman in the woods could have daughters and granddaughters who could keep records. The chances are highly unlikely with the passage years and oceans, but that does not mean the prospect does not exist. Sophie does not have safety need of wither the will of a wealthy husband or the sheltering embrace of wealthy friends. 

"I will act within the bounds of my widowhood and role as a grandmother. There will be no active cause for speculation amongst our visitors, little more that will tie back to you and the days in Britany. 

***

“Do not strain your hands, Marianne, surely you have enough portraits of me to last a lifetime?” 

The artist in question doesn’t bother to reply to the query. She is too absorbed in examining the canvas critically. Her hands still grip the tools of her trade with surety and confidence, even though she needs more light to see clearly. The piece is small and will sit on Marianne’s bedside table away from public view. Fortunately, Héloïse can sit in a comfortable chair and not that old hard stool. 

“My hands are old and knarled, but they can still manage such a familiar subject, and the light is too good to ignore. Besides, there is no greater pleasure than capturing your every feature.” Marianne counters easily 

They can set a more leisurely pace for this painting, for both the artist and subject this is a relief. Nobody will interrupt them for the rest of the afternoon; the sounds of the house are distant in these corridors. Héloïse is no longer mistress who is in charge of every trivial and major detail. Lucina makes all the decisions with an air of confidence and grace. There is a certain luxury that exists only when time becomes your own and nobody is competing for your attention. Héloïse likes to think that her mother found similar comfort within the walls of this place, the early years in Milan. Should would certainly approve of how well her grandson is doing and be tolerably satisfied with Héloïse successfully hiding her deviant desires. 

“I suspect you simply want an excuse for us to spend time alone, in a socially acceptable way for ladies of our standing. Even the most sceptical cynic in my son’s employ won’t deny your talent, even for the pastoral scenes the English favour.” Héloïse replies, careful not to move or break her pose. 

“There is no challenge in such views and scenes, better suited as training for my less talented students. The diversity of the human form is far more challenging. My father spent hours teaching me the foundations of anatomy and depth, far more than the men who masquerade as doctors to the poor. It’s how I captured your neck and shoulders that Stefano grew so fond of in the marriage portrait.” Marianne disagrees 

“You speak about my husband with far more fondness than I could ever imagine. After all, he is the reason we could not run away and build a life in the shadows together. Do you resent that I made the poet’s choice and sustained myself with memory alone?” Héloïse asks quietly

“I did for a long time, but we were both young and nieve, new to the passions of love. Feelings and emotions sustain life only in the great tragedies were there are magical powers and copious deities to begin with for our freedom. Eventually, I wished to see you secure away from the demons of that Chateau and hope you found a measure of happiness."

Mariane smiles and continues outlining the common features that she loves so much. There is no deadline or constraint for this work, but her father's lessons still echo in her mind after decades. Marianne is incapable of producing work that is not to her highest standard even when she is sick or loathes the person she is representing on canvas. The lie she told to the Countess about destroying the first marriage portrait wasn't without precedence. Her father destroyed his earliest work regularly if he wasn't happy with the result. 

"For many years, you where the _Lady on Fire_ to me, trying to hold on to light in great darkness. Arabella, my finest student, believes it is one of my finest works. She is young and idealistic; I must prefer being able to capture you in these moments, with a place in the world and light in your eyes." Marianne insists with a fierce yellow stroke. 

"Will you show me some of those early works. I know you brought the canvases from back home. The letters between us give if me some insights, but it doesn't feel like enough." 

"As you wish. All you will see is yourself at different stages, in the distance and the foreground." 

"We will hand them in pride of place if you are willing to take a commission in kisses?" 

"I can think of few greater prizes for me to claim." Marianne agrees 


End file.
